Cannot to be strong as I want me to be anymore...

It's not all of sudden or it is.
But all I know is I just kept telling me that everything is ok so that I can finally convince myself the mirage which I'd built up on the ground of sand is real.
But it's so unreal right now.
I found my heart finally breaking.
I'm falling to pieces.
And I cannot be glue up like the delicate doll of porcelain.
I'm a pathetic pessimist.
I realized I always need a person to count on I cannot live alone I'm a looser I'm not strong I can never be the one I dream of.
It's too hard to live and I'm about to give it up.