昨天事情都很好,忙碌的一天。
就是没料到人家刚刚做完热身运动就被戴红箍的大爷和气的警告那片草地不能用来玩游戏！这是为什么啊为什么~~~
joshua又重了，已经可以自己坐起来了。
tanya把他穿戴好放在地上，我站在对面，他仰头看我，那么小的一个小东西。
我喜欢他对着我笑，he likes me! haha~~
玩frisbee的地方还有一个叫liz的小美眉，好cute啊！~~~一眼就能看出混血儿的那种，大眼睛啊大眼睛，好像强生广告的那一种~~~

今天上午去教堂了，没有感觉。兄弟姐妹送了一本圣经给我，我想要english version~我想去international church. 不知道为什么，山西路堂让我觉得并不庄重。 好的事情是，我可以遇到新的人，认识新朋友。

今天努力的跳了几个绳,我看我恢复的已经差不多了.
幸好年轻,万一我70岁了还怎么缓过来呀.
红花油啊红花油,包治百病的东西,我是这样的喜欢你呀.
外用是它,内用是藿香正气,全都是万能药水~~
明天看起来会很忙的样子.
上午去找tanya玩frisbee....
下午和欣子拉拉拉....
晚上几家一起出去吃饭....god bless me~~~
前些天投的简历竟然没一个回音,明天会是一个好的开始吗? 我充实忙碌生活的好开始?

i forced myself to send some emails for job application. seaching, sending, all of this stuffs. i'm so used to relax, but money is a huge problems to me. all i have is 5 yuan right now.

i actually feel peace these days. this is a perio of time for me to think and get ready for new stuffs. i do feel good but the big problem is mommy. she made me feel so useless. what a pity.

well i got Jason's email today. just right after i send those emails. he made me peace. he talks about how God help him through the pains. i knew. i'm thinking about to be a Christian too but yes not because of him. but i hope he can help me in some ways. i need him to explain something to me. he's difinitly a friend to me right now. I still love him but in a different way. still hope i can see him soon. when will be the housewarming?

Let's go outside!

大门不出二门不入。
趁这段宁静的日子，看了一遍“三个火枪手”。好久以前买来的书，因为很厚很厚，要不是无聊之极我也不会有勇气从头到尾看一遍。历史凝聚智慧，时间沉淀真理。一部用生命铸成的历史经过时间的历练拿在手里格外有分量。真希望我能懂法文，原著像是美酒滑过唇齿留香，译本不过是终于原本的陈述，再美，也不及十一。
昨日中秋，月色朦胧。发信息给jason，不久回应。简单祝福话语，分外生疏。于是夜难眠，泪满面。纵使是爱，也是要结束。今日无常，且行且珍惜。

hey, so i'm still here.

lately my legs feels so bad. it hurts so much that i can't even walk. so i have no choice but cancel morning jogging. i felt bad cause i really love it; i felt bad again cause i can't even do it. this pain have been last for a few days and i still have no idea how to kill it, i've done everything i could, keeping warm, stay in sunshine, little excerise, top level sleeping, but there's no effort.
i'm not afriad but anxious. i have no idea how it happened, and how to make me feel better. it's so out of my control.

when i watched TV the other day i saw XuanLiu, he's order, beard on his side face, around his mouth. he's 33 already. he looks much different but when i looked into his eyes i knew something still. i like him a lot. he's the kind of person i want to be with. oh, one more, he so much alike his father!

that's it. hope i can walk tomorrow.

a traveling pants of sisterhood. it remends of youth age.

9月

又好久没更新日记了，我总在犹豫要在哪边写。
space上似乎有更多人，但相比之下greatestjournal就显得更personal一点。
也许有些东西并不适合所有人一起分享。
或者说，我不必换地方，只是为了提供给更多人浏览的机会。
我是说，如果有人真的在乎，不论在哪里都一样；不在乎的话，就算捧到眼前也未必愿意撇一眼。我何必下贱。
是不是呢？
everything is so depends.

我原来很不天蝎的，不恶毒不冷漠不记仇心计不重不迷人没有魅力不重权势。
Just so ordinery.
什么做不成情人就老死不相往来，it's so unme.
现在我越来越简单了，因为所有要思考的事情在几年以前就已经想完了。
像败类说的，不知道是他进步还是我退步。其实我只是在没有什么可以思考而已。
所以我现在简单到只考虑今天不想明天，只管现在，下一秒怎样都无所谓。
于是我又回到童年，简单到高兴就笑，伤心哭了就忘掉。
小时候想的太多很辛苦，忽视了很多美丽的东西，也许是现在想找回来吧。
最近常常处在一种"活着"的状态，某一个瞬间突然就想 "i'm living!"
这很好吧，没有工作也没什么大不了。没有前途也一样。重要的是我活着，所有一切都来得及找寻，有机会得到。
没必要伤感抱怨，失望落魄，没什么可以是生活的全部。

但是美丽的心情会被莫名的情绪阻碍，就像甜美酣睡中忽然一个愤愤不平的念头跳到我的脑袋里，瞬间睡意全无，意难平。

i feel great that i was jogging these days.
i feel great because finally i didn't pull them off.
i can force myself to wake up, use up all my energy and being sweat.
it's cool.
it's just 3 days till now.
i hope it can last forever.
no, not ever but my living years.

i went to paw's today and had tons of foods for lunch!
i still feel full right now, it's 22:38.
well, having them around me feels so great! friends, laughing, sharing, and makeup stuff(eva knew what i'm talking about!) all of them feels great!
tomorrow is monday again.
they're working, i'm sleeping.
so what, what a wonderful life!

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9月3号星期六

又一个星期没过来更新了，好像大家也没有什么变化。
原来日子就这样快快乐乐的过了，忽然有一点心慌。
女人真的怕老啊。
我有情绪化了，讨厌，怎么我还是学不会LET IT BE.
这只意味着上帝会安排其他的事例继续让我领悟。
也意味着在某段时间里我仍然会得到不想要的打击。
TOO BAD!
买药估计也没戏了，我果然还是抱了一定的希望的。
不然我也不会像现在一样情绪化。
离开学校的这些日子我仍然习惯性的在逃避。
但好的一面是，我已经愿意面对了，至少开始鼓励自己面对。
而恢复情绪化的时间也变得越来越短了。
这些日子其实学到了很多东西，虽然之前在学校里的许多年，假装学习也好真的用功也罢，心态的成熟是不一样的。就算少许，改变总是好的。
我变勇敢了。
再一次认真的希望可以留住ESEC时的自己。
连败类也发现那些日子我是有激情的活着。
我要用心的不让消极的情绪影响自己。
我要欢乐的活着。
我要像肥皂剧一样活着。
Things happened because of how you believe in it.
I think so.
今天3号了，明天陈就回来了。
终于终于，陈家弟弟也没有希望了。
其实他来来去去，走走停停，对我来说也没有实际意义的。
无论在哪里我也不会得到多少，失去多少。
只是这一来一去，就不自觉地提醒我要努力的活着，就让我哪怕只是在那几天的生命充满色彩。
I guess that's why i love him.
I love the way i felt when i around him.
本来昨天要上来更新的，但是写邮件花了太多时间。
我对他很诚实，这点让我感觉非常好。
我什么都会说，瞧，我们越来越朋友了。
这样多好。
而他不止一次对我说过appreciate;我也知道he mean it.
i can feel lifelong in some moment, even though he won't stay here forever or even though i would never see him again.
but it's ok.
what i care about is the feeling right here right now.
i love it.
ok, i'd love to see him soon!

今天和summer快乐的去逛街，i love her.
wish her and mom a nice journey!