。。。。tell me it's not true~~~

21 APRIL 2005
Latest News

BABY: Congratulations to Taylor and Natalie. The happy couple have announced the birth of their second child. A little girl named Penelope. All the best to the family.

"Taylor Hanson has a new reason to sing "Penny & Me." The 22-year-old Hanson member and his wife, Natalie, welcomed their second child, a daughter named Penelope, into the world on Tuesday. Their son, Jordan Ezra, was born in October 2002. Baby and mom are both doing fine." - MTV.com

宝贝啊，你咋着能干捏~~~~

damn it

心情低落呀心情低落，被什么东西压着的感觉真是不好。
为什么要写论文呢？为什么简简单单的事在我就这难。
不怨天不怨地甚至跟变态老师也一点关系也没有，自己变，怪不得别人。
难道我就真的这样一辈子有好日子没好过下去？
宿命在哪里呀宿命在哪里，难道我错看了陈对我的影响力又回到原点？执拗的跟自己说新生

活啊新生活，到头来还是我有定力的雷打不动？
我不快乐，听起来是那么久远的东西。
平客的段子那么容易的让我大笑出声，但不是快乐，can't feel it. inside.

shit, shit, i hate it hate it, hate my fucking essay. why i have to do this. i don't know what to do, feels like im in the middle of nowhere, facing the screen but don't what im seaching for. give me a goal, give me a goal. what the fucking damn teacher need!!!

drawing into the essay net seach complex once again. gee, why my mentor is so fusty and responsible like this. thanx god i finally met a "good" teacher! but why? all i want is just a pass right? i don't think i need a" i will teach you the meaningful meaning in doing this "
when i have already gone through all this four disappointed years. shit. who do you think you are!

all the happy thing i got yesterday is i met j and talked with him for almost half an hour. i should had asked him to walk out with me to enjoy the sunshine or maybe treat him a box of icecream. that would be wonderful. but it's ok. i could still enjoyed the expression on his face when i takeed out a box of M&Ms. he said i always brought him something when i see him, so he likes to see me. haha, it's a joke. oh, shit, i must be off now cause i have an interview to catch... poor me.

ps, summer got her QQ back. and vivi won't go to xiamen.

a streetcar named desire

a streetcar named desire

有欲望号街车的那一年还都是黑白电影，看华纳的图标一黑一白的闪现出来就自觉年代久远

，肃然起敬。电影使很多东西永不消失，就算是生活本身的简单存在。而承载这些神奇魔幻的不过是一卷卷黑乎乎的胶片，而现在，不过是一串串看不见摸不着的数字代码，which seems even worse.

所以我喜欢CD多过MP3, 太容易得到就不会懂得珍惜，甚至不会懂得欣赏。我永远迷恋每一张CD盘面的图案，封面的设计，文案美丽的文字中透露的或浓或淡的墨香，似乎一息尚存的人文气息。judge the music by the cover. 有的时候就是这样，迷恋的就是一种感觉，一瞬间的欣赏，拿在手里的完满，风风火火，从一而终。

我从不相信自己是被爱的，也从没想过会有人能真的爱我，父母给的不是爱，是种毫无保留不需选择没有条件的给予，完全没有疑虑的知己知彼。而爱，根本就需要保留选择和条件。我习惯失望了，大概是自己一直以来要求得太多，想要得太多。所以也可以解释我为什么就这么悲观，太完美主义，但不过是痴心妄想。我相信梦境，相信往往最贴近自我的东西都是从梦中展现的，甚至每一点一滴细小的变化。那些日子里，就连我的梦也变得快乐了，于是整个人都闪亮起来。我很难真的相信某些东西，尽管简单的事实小小的动作就能让我感动不已，觉得整个世界都是美好的。我有种奇怪的想法，可以改变自己的不是自己，而是另外一人。

what?

long time to update my journal, i've been writting my paper for a while. it's finished now... well, just the unedited version, but it still makes me feel good. gonna hand it in
monday, don't know what is waiting for me. i will finally see my teacher, hoho, excited...

well, well, well, 捣鼓了半天layout也不满意，看起来那么简单。还是得脚踏实地好好学阿，没有基础

的 七拼八凑怎么也没戏。ethan hawke算是new crush吗？ well, not really. 因为看他演的before sunset. i do love that movie, even it's just two people walk and talks for the entire an hour and half. but it seems sooo interesting and it do tells a lot. it's better than "the family man" i guess (sorry j). i love the way they talk, they walk, the atmosphere, and the sun shining over french streets. it's pretty good. you may feel boring at first but if you could stand for 20 mins, then you will agree that's a good movie. you know what, i feel peace and release. i guess that's why.
and back to "the family man", it's a long story to tell a simple truth. it's a good movie, but not as good as jason said. i guess he's daydreamer too. even though he's a
capricorn. i even think he's a boy inside, so innocent and naive and could believe everything beautiful.
cute guy~~ wish i could see him somewhere.

wasting time

自己在家里的假日真愉快，阳光灿烂，宽待上网。
虽然不过是wasting time 但也从心里怪怪的高兴。
捣鼓了半天gj的style,发现这个东西真好玩阿，html语言要比毛概邓论什么的

容易多了,问题是有准啊，你说怎样他就怎样，决不会像共产党，什么都给你弄出两个答案让你猜。
非常迫切的觉得自己是需要信仰的，忽然想起陈说的话，也许我也可以考虑一下。
我就是这么别扭的一个人，自己常常想不开，有不够气度魄力，只好转而投向那些虚无缥缈没有用的东西。
i need peace.
i need something to turn to when i can't go on.
i need to believe.

murder wears friendly smile
like the perfect tone in a plastic vial
no pain
sorry i can't seem to say
but the bird was meant to fly away

thank god hanson's always something i can turn to

我忽然意识到obsession是我的灵魂。
成也它，败也它。

这几天一直练习handwriting, 从识字以来就从没这样过，一天几个小时乖乖写字，不急不躁不烦不累，obsession的原因吧，好像我画画一样，一坐一下午腰酸背痛，美~~ 看文字美美的流动，巨大的享受~

ps, vivi,你的字呢？

• 
  

essay~~

hu~~写论文原来是超级辛苦的一件事情。
首先，要找到恰到好处适量的材料。太少结构完整，但容易被人识破；太多就乱，还没等看

自己眼就花了。
其次，要有一不怕苦，二不怕死，三不怕死不了活受罪的精神。一定要谨记通不过是正常，过了是超长的名言。想想红军长征苦不苦，徒步走过两万五，虽然不是公里吧，能活着过来就不易。我们也要将革命精神进行到底，闪闪红星照耀我前进。
再次，一定要敢打敢拼敢闯敢干，你看小辉哥十年的媳妇熬成婆，花一样的年纪不也把Hendry给打下来了吗？所以一定要摒弃恭谦敬让的不正之风，当人不让，牛群不是说嘛，说你行你就行不行也行，说不行就不行行也不行，横批是：不服不行。 我们就要改一改嘛，说是我的就是我的不是也是，万一遇上导师异样的眼光，千万不能口短，绝不能在气势上输人，使出混身忽悠功，丫的，蒙不过他还咋混阿。
正文：弃，启，期，齐，砌，祈，奇，漆。
over

坐你开的车，听你听的歌

summer said i hadn't updated my journal for a while, well here it is.

i have been happy these days.
it's like i've been through the worst part.
nothing happened, nothing changed, but i just being happy.
i can feel it again, inside, like i can do everything i want.
i can smile again.
it's weird, but it's so true.

i got his mail today without any expectation. this is not the first time that i expected nothing but i really got something. i was thinking about those days with hope and nothing in return. but now, here it is. and i can tell those words are for me and for me only. it's not bad, isn't it?

what goes around comes around, and what goes up must come down.

i want nothing but my happy mood. am i greety?