balance of my heart

suddenly it feels so badly.
i can't keep the balance of my heart.
suddenly i realized, it's so fragile inside.
everything faded away except the emptiness of my heart.
is vivi going to korea?
that question is bothering her and also me.
that's not a big deal in fact.
but her problem reflects mine.
what im gonna do and what im gonna be.
what about the future and the entire of my life.
is it bright or groomy
is it colorful or pale
is it worthy to struggle or not
is it ordinary or eventful
i mess up
in a frenzy
like a fuss

im afraid of being just one in the crowd.
but there is an ambivalent feeling that i just so comfortable of doing so.
like i'd like to syncretize but all i've done is just running away.
like i'd like to go out but i just inside.
i dont deserve to be happy.
merry-go-round
just a thought
like me